Remembering Bob the Beagle
June 20, 1996 to October 23, 2003
Bob the Beagle, faithful loving companion,
may be gone but he lives on in your hearts and memories.

• The First Stage: Denial 
  This is the initial response of many pet owners when confronted with a pet's terminal condition or sudden death. This reaction seems to be the mind's buffer against a sharp emotional blow.
   
• The Second Stage: Bargaining 
  This stage is well documented in the human grieving process. Many times, faced with impending death, an individual may "bargain" - offering some sacrifice if the loved one is spared. People losing a pet are less likely to bargain. Still, the hope that a pet might recover can foster reactions like, "If Rover recovers, I'll never skip his regular walk, never put him in a kennel when I go on vacation, never."
   
• The Third Stage: Anger  
  Recognizing anger in the grief process is seldom a problem; dealing with it often is.  Anger can be obvious, as in hostility or aggression. On the other hand, anger often turns inward, emerging as guilt.
   
• The Fourth Stage: Grief
  This is the stage of true sadness. The pet is gone, along with the guilt and anger, and only an emptiness remains. It is now that the support of family and friends is most important and, sadly, most difficult to find. A lack of support prolongs the grief stage.

Here are some helpful ideas from Patricia Gallagher, a professional bereavement counselor:

• Talk it out, share your feelings, ventilate; don't let your grief get bottled up inside and cause physical problems. The chest, stomach and back are usually the body areas most affected by the stress of emotional suffering. Physical exercise sometimes helps to relieve the stress as do relaxation and meditation exercises.

• Tears are often the best therapy for emotional strain - for both sexes and all ages. Weeping is a natural way to ease anguish and release pain. Laughter, too, can serve as an outlet for discharging pent-up emotions.

• It's important to find an understanding group or individual with whom one can share feelings on a long-term basis. In addition to talking about the grief and telling others what is needed from them, writing down experiences in a daily log or journal can be therapeutic. Writing about feelings helps us clarify them.

• Many people try to keep themselves too busy to think, as a way of avoiding the grief. But the feelings must be dealt with and accepted as part of a normal separation process. There is no "normal" grief span - the process is never the same for two people.

• Giving people support when they are experiencing a severe loss is important. Words of wisdom are not required, nor are they necessarily helpful. Rather, reaching out with a card, a phone call or a personal visit meets the need. Show your concern and sorrow in your own way, but be available to your friend and encourage others to reach out too.

Pets Mourn Too

Betty certainly missed Bob.  She refused to eat for days and was constantly searching for him.  She barked out to him and just didn't understand why he didn't come running.  It was because of these symptoms that we decided to speed up our search for a new puppy.  We felt that she needed a new companion.

We gave Betty extra loving attention to help her mourn.  At the suggestion of Dr. Rick Berggren, we took her for extra long walks.   He said that it is common for other pets to grieve for as much as a month to six-weeks.  Jan put Bob's favorite toys and his bedding away to help remove some of Bob's scent.

Online Resources

• Coping with the Loss of a Pet

• Grieving the Loss of a Pet

• Pet Loss Grief Support Website

• Pet Loss Support